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BASICs of my personal life...
I lived on a farm in Hobart till I was three with mum, dad, my sister and dog.
Then mum my sister and me moved to Melbourne, we stayed with family friends and then we moved into our own rented house.
I went to a pre-school there, then we moved to Hobart again with mum's boyfriend,
He had two children of his own, I went to a primary school down the road, and joined a junior scouts called cubs.
My sister and me went to dads every second week for a month or two and then he went to jail.
We visited him with 'G.N' the most lovely person I've ever meet, she became dads girl friend after 'The.B' who was the most horrible coldest person I've ever met. 'G.N' took us there heaps, for awhile we had to talk to dad through a phone and sit on the other side of the glass.
We went to visit him one time on my birthday and he forgot it was my birthday ha :s 'G.N' and my sister had to quickly remind him. J, W and K (my half brothers and sister) were there too. Once dad got out he went and lived with 'G.N' and her daughter 'L.N'. My sister and me went there a lot, we loved it there! The house was next to the beach, had an out side wall made of wine bottles, and inside there was an attic cub-by house you got up by a ladder, where my sister, 'L.N' and me watched Pippy long stockings about 100 times. The house was made of dark wood and they had a dog called Rosie. One day dad said he couldn't live in Hobart anymore and he left, he said it wasn't safe for him to be down here. My sister and me still went to see 'G.N' and 'L.N' but not as much as we were used to.
I was about to walk home with 'S' and 'J.A', friends from school but then my step dad came and picked me up, he told me i needed to go with him. He told me one of the worst things I've ever had to hear, he said 'G.N' was dead, she had died of a brain tumor and she thought she could fix it will natural medication. I asked where my sister was and then was silent till we pulled into the drive way. Then I cried my insides out, I hurt so much I couldn't do anything but cry and scream out in grief. I tried to go to school the next day, I walked into music late, and they were singing the 'If I saw you in heaven' song which made me cry the painful cry again, I ran out of the classroom and friends from school came to see what was wrong, I went home. I don't know how long it took me and my sister to stop being so sad or feel so much pain but a long time.
Mum, my sister, and me went to the funeral, we saw 'L.N' there but she was running around laughing like nothing had happened, mum said she was in shock. I wanted to see her crying, to see her up set so I knew she'd be ok, but she wasn't. What made things worse was that 'L.N' didn't come and see us anymore, 'D' (her grandma) said she couldn't come over anymore because we reminded her too much of when she was with 'G.N'.
I got glandular fever, toxsoplasmosis, and five flu type things all at the same time, possibly because I was run down from Dad not being around and what had just happened to 'G.N'. So I missed a lot of school, I didn't get so see friends from school as much, and because glandular fever never really goes away I kept missing school for a few years and no one at school really understood.
We went to Bali when I was in grade 6, probably one of the best places I've ever been, it was so different and just beautiful, and the people were so lovely! My step sister was sick though, she had anorexia, my sister was pretty depressed and my step brother was pretty angry at his dad (my step dad) and at mum. But apart from that it was so nice and beautiful I loved it so much.
When we got back, my sister got more and more depressed and tried to commit suicide. It was a pretty scary thing to see, she had over dossed on her sleeping pills, and they were trying to keep her awake because if she had gone to sleep she wouldn't have woken up. I started laughing because I was in shock and then I went into my room with 'S' who was there with me at the time and I cried I was so insanely worried.
A year later my sisters boyfriend moved in because she needed the support, but my step brother and sister moved out to their mums because they were sick of everything, the whole family. My step dad at the time and my sisters boyfriend didn't get along at all! And soon after he moved in we all moved out to a rented house up the road because my sister wasn't coping anymore. As we were moving out mum's test for breast cancer were getting tested. I remember running down to my friend 'S' house crying, I was so worried mum was going to have cancer, but 'S' said they are only tests and told me she was sure mum would be fine. But we got home and everything wasn't fine, mum did have cancer and that year mum was pretty terribly sick. She lost her hair, and one time she was cooking dinner I went to eat it but massive clumps of hair had fallen into it :s, I felt so bad I couldn't eat it, and everyone was like eat it, there wont be anymore in there but then my sisters boyfriend went to eat his and also found a clump in it, that was it I couldn't eat it even though I felt really really bad. Mum lost all her hair, and was spewing up when ever she had to get treatment, and I was sick a lot too and would go into hospital with mum. We watched day time TV and bought these mini cameras for $50, they were a bit ridiculous but they made us feel better. Then as mum was recovering, her 9 year boyfriend, my step dad broke up with her.
I had tried to keep them together, but out of my own selfishness.
My sister and her boyfriend broke up, and awhile after she started seeing another guy, her next long year boyfriend, he was really lovely. She had a fair few issues and he helped her through a lot of things. My sister caught meningococcal, and was taken to hospital and put in an isolation room. Dad, and our half brothers and sister came down. We went into see her, she was so tired and drowsy from all the medication, I thought I was fine but then seeing her made me cry, I was so worried and scared but she was going to be alright.
My sister has been up and down, she suffers with depression and has a borderline personality disorder but I don't like to say she has that because it categorizes people, when she is her own person. Last year it got pretty bad though my sister was staying in a flat with some friends and just took drugs the whole year, I think its fine to try them out and what ever if you want to but not to the point where you are doing it everyday and the people around you have to see you suffering and hurting yourself. She pulled herself out though and came off the drugs apart from weed, that didn't stop for awhile. She went up to Sydney and was trying to cross to the other side of the river, and slipped down into the harbor, helicopters had to get her out and take her to hospital. She was on crutches for awhile, and lost a lot of weight from all the drugs she'd been on. She's a lot better this year.
I was still seeing my step dad after school mostly everyday and he was still much like a father to me, but it all stopped late last year when my sister finally told us the truth on why she hated him so much. She had said before that he used to just be really horrible to her and say mean things to her that would make her feel bad and just put her down. But then she told us that he had sexually abused her, but didn't tell us much more than that, mum though he was just overly touchy with her as he was with everyone but recently she told me it was more than that and actually said what happened. I haven't known how to deal with this, I don't know how understand it, it doesn't work in my head for him to be like that with her and a completely different person to me.
I knew he could be an as-hole sometimes like I remember one time mum had gone away for a week and we were going to pick her up from the airport and I had to have a shower before we went, so I was washing my hair-I was about 5- and I'd forgotten which went in first so I had put the conditioner in first and then put the shampoo in, he got really angry with me and pulled me out of the shower and really roughly dried me. Or when one of us had done something wrong he would take us into our bedroom and smack us as hard as he could, or if we weren't eating right he'd say we had to eat outside at the piggy table but one time it was so funny. I was playing with my food because I wasn't all that hungry and I got sent out to the piggy table and the dinning room table looks out side, I was sitting out side laughing waving at everyone, then one by one all the kids got sent out to the piggy table and we were all just outside laughing he got so angry it was the funnest thing ever.
But he was also nice and he used to give me shoulder rides and he taught me heaps of things, we went up the mountain in the snow and built an igloo, and we went camping and he was also like a dad to me. He had different sides to him, and I'm not sure if his nice side was fake but I did love that side. But I hate what he has done to my sister and I've decided the way I am going to deal with this is that I'm not going to feel bad no matter what anyone says for saying I miss the kind, nice side of my old step dad and to me he is dead. And the other side I despise I can not understand and hate for what he has done to my sister and how he hurt my mum. Mum went to court to get some money off him because half the house we moved out of was hers, because after 8 years everything is counted as half shares. But he had said he wanted to leave mum but she was sick with cancer so he didn't, and the only reason he didn't leave was because of me. I didn't know how to react to this because he was saying horrible things about my mum, and saying he cared about me as a daughter at the same time. I'm still not sure how to look at that but like I said I miss the step dad that loved, cared, looked out for me, and taught me a lot, but I don't love the guy I've found out he is and was.
I was talking to dad about all this and he said he thinks its going to take me longer to trust people, guys mostly than it would have, because he hasn't been around for me, and because of my ex step dad. Dad's pretty sick at the moment :s, he has cancer of the lymph system, still not sure how serious it is, but he said he has to wait till the cancer gets bigger before they do any treatment, and there's a 90% chance of living over 5 years and 50% chance of living over 10 years, I'm not really sure were those figures have come from though so I think I'm going to ignore that until I know the full story.
This is the BASICs of my family life, haven't included friends much, but my friends are pretty brilliant they help me get through hard times even if most of them don't know about my family they are just there and take my mind of everything :)
Remember just because someone appears like they are copping doesn't mean they are, its usually the people who appear like they are copping in fact aren't they just don't know how to deal with it all.
I lived on a farm in Hobart till I was three with mum, dad, my sister and dog.
Then mum my sister and me moved to Melbourne, we stayed with family friends and then we moved into our own rented house.
I went to a pre-school there, then we moved to Hobart again with mum's boyfriend,
He had two children of his own, I went to a primary school down the road, and joined a junior scouts called cubs.
My sister and me went to dads every second week for a month or two and then he went to jail.
We visited him with 'G.N' the most lovely person I've ever meet, she became dads girl friend after 'The.B' who was the most horrible coldest person I've ever met. 'G.N' took us there heaps, for awhile we had to talk to dad through a phone and sit on the other side of the glass.
We went to visit him one time on my birthday and he forgot it was my birthday ha :s 'G.N' and my sister had to quickly remind him. J, W and K (my half brothers and sister) were there too. Once dad got out he went and lived with 'G.N' and her daughter 'L.N'. My sister and me went there a lot, we loved it there! The house was next to the beach, had an out side wall made of wine bottles, and inside there was an attic cub-by house you got up by a ladder, where my sister, 'L.N' and me watched Pippy long stockings about 100 times. The house was made of dark wood and they had a dog called Rosie. One day dad said he couldn't live in Hobart anymore and he left, he said it wasn't safe for him to be down here. My sister and me still went to see 'G.N' and 'L.N' but not as much as we were used to.
I was about to walk home with 'S' and 'J.A', friends from school but then my step dad came and picked me up, he told me i needed to go with him. He told me one of the worst things I've ever had to hear, he said 'G.N' was dead, she had died of a brain tumor and she thought she could fix it will natural medication. I asked where my sister was and then was silent till we pulled into the drive way. Then I cried my insides out, I hurt so much I couldn't do anything but cry and scream out in grief. I tried to go to school the next day, I walked into music late, and they were singing the 'If I saw you in heaven' song which made me cry the painful cry again, I ran out of the classroom and friends from school came to see what was wrong, I went home. I don't know how long it took me and my sister to stop being so sad or feel so much pain but a long time.
Mum, my sister, and me went to the funeral, we saw 'L.N' there but she was running around laughing like nothing had happened, mum said she was in shock. I wanted to see her crying, to see her up set so I knew she'd be ok, but she wasn't. What made things worse was that 'L.N' didn't come and see us anymore, 'D' (her grandma) said she couldn't come over anymore because we reminded her too much of when she was with 'G.N'.
I got glandular fever, toxsoplasmosis, and five flu type things all at the same time, possibly because I was run down from Dad not being around and what had just happened to 'G.N'. So I missed a lot of school, I didn't get so see friends from school as much, and because glandular fever never really goes away I kept missing school for a few years and no one at school really understood.
We went to Bali when I was in grade 6, probably one of the best places I've ever been, it was so different and just beautiful, and the people were so lovely! My step sister was sick though, she had anorexia, my sister was pretty depressed and my step brother was pretty angry at his dad (my step dad) and at mum. But apart from that it was so nice and beautiful I loved it so much.
When we got back, my sister got more and more depressed and tried to commit suicide. It was a pretty scary thing to see, she had over dossed on her sleeping pills, and they were trying to keep her awake because if she had gone to sleep she wouldn't have woken up. I started laughing because I was in shock and then I went into my room with 'S' who was there with me at the time and I cried I was so insanely worried.
A year later my sisters boyfriend moved in because she needed the support, but my step brother and sister moved out to their mums because they were sick of everything, the whole family. My step dad at the time and my sisters boyfriend didn't get along at all! And soon after he moved in we all moved out to a rented house up the road because my sister wasn't coping anymore. As we were moving out mum's test for breast cancer were getting tested. I remember running down to my friend 'S' house crying, I was so worried mum was going to have cancer, but 'S' said they are only tests and told me she was sure mum would be fine. But we got home and everything wasn't fine, mum did have cancer and that year mum was pretty terribly sick. She lost her hair, and one time she was cooking dinner I went to eat it but massive clumps of hair had fallen into it :s, I felt so bad I couldn't eat it, and everyone was like eat it, there wont be anymore in there but then my sisters boyfriend went to eat his and also found a clump in it, that was it I couldn't eat it even though I felt really really bad. Mum lost all her hair, and was spewing up when ever she had to get treatment, and I was sick a lot too and would go into hospital with mum. We watched day time TV and bought these mini cameras for $50, they were a bit ridiculous but they made us feel better. Then as mum was recovering, her 9 year boyfriend, my step dad broke up with her.
I had tried to keep them together, but out of my own selfishness.
My sister and her boyfriend broke up, and awhile after she started seeing another guy, her next long year boyfriend, he was really lovely. She had a fair few issues and he helped her through a lot of things. My sister caught meningococcal, and was taken to hospital and put in an isolation room. Dad, and our half brothers and sister came down. We went into see her, she was so tired and drowsy from all the medication, I thought I was fine but then seeing her made me cry, I was so worried and scared but she was going to be alright.
My sister has been up and down, she suffers with depression and has a borderline personality disorder but I don't like to say she has that because it categorizes people, when she is her own person. Last year it got pretty bad though my sister was staying in a flat with some friends and just took drugs the whole year, I think its fine to try them out and what ever if you want to but not to the point where you are doing it everyday and the people around you have to see you suffering and hurting yourself. She pulled herself out though and came off the drugs apart from weed, that didn't stop for awhile. She went up to Sydney and was trying to cross to the other side of the river, and slipped down into the harbor, helicopters had to get her out and take her to hospital. She was on crutches for awhile, and lost a lot of weight from all the drugs she'd been on. She's a lot better this year.
I was still seeing my step dad after school mostly everyday and he was still much like a father to me, but it all stopped late last year when my sister finally told us the truth on why she hated him so much. She had said before that he used to just be really horrible to her and say mean things to her that would make her feel bad and just put her down. But then she told us that he had sexually abused her, but didn't tell us much more than that, mum though he was just overly touchy with her as he was with everyone but recently she told me it was more than that and actually said what happened. I haven't known how to deal with this, I don't know how understand it, it doesn't work in my head for him to be like that with her and a completely different person to me.
I knew he could be an as-hole sometimes like I remember one time mum had gone away for a week and we were going to pick her up from the airport and I had to have a shower before we went, so I was washing my hair-I was about 5- and I'd forgotten which went in first so I had put the conditioner in first and then put the shampoo in, he got really angry with me and pulled me out of the shower and really roughly dried me. Or when one of us had done something wrong he would take us into our bedroom and smack us as hard as he could, or if we weren't eating right he'd say we had to eat outside at the piggy table but one time it was so funny. I was playing with my food because I wasn't all that hungry and I got sent out to the piggy table and the dinning room table looks out side, I was sitting out side laughing waving at everyone, then one by one all the kids got sent out to the piggy table and we were all just outside laughing he got so angry it was the funnest thing ever.
But he was also nice and he used to give me shoulder rides and he taught me heaps of things, we went up the mountain in the snow and built an igloo, and we went camping and he was also like a dad to me. He had different sides to him, and I'm not sure if his nice side was fake but I did love that side. But I hate what he has done to my sister and I've decided the way I am going to deal with this is that I'm not going to feel bad no matter what anyone says for saying I miss the kind, nice side of my old step dad and to me he is dead. And the other side I despise I can not understand and hate for what he has done to my sister and how he hurt my mum. Mum went to court to get some money off him because half the house we moved out of was hers, because after 8 years everything is counted as half shares. But he had said he wanted to leave mum but she was sick with cancer so he didn't, and the only reason he didn't leave was because of me. I didn't know how to react to this because he was saying horrible things about my mum, and saying he cared about me as a daughter at the same time. I'm still not sure how to look at that but like I said I miss the step dad that loved, cared, looked out for me, and taught me a lot, but I don't love the guy I've found out he is and was.
I was talking to dad about all this and he said he thinks its going to take me longer to trust people, guys mostly than it would have, because he hasn't been around for me, and because of my ex step dad. Dad's pretty sick at the moment :s, he has cancer of the lymph system, still not sure how serious it is, but he said he has to wait till the cancer gets bigger before they do any treatment, and there's a 90% chance of living over 5 years and 50% chance of living over 10 years, I'm not really sure were those figures have come from though so I think I'm going to ignore that until I know the full story.
This is the BASICs of my family life, haven't included friends much, but my friends are pretty brilliant they help me get through hard times even if most of them don't know about my family they are just there and take my mind of everything :)
Remember just because someone appears like they are copping doesn't mean they are, its usually the people who appear like they are copping in fact aren't they just don't know how to deal with it all.
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